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Linguistic Swifties

by Richard Stallman

"The deadline is very close," he said in Russian.

"But we'll be done soon," she replied in Finnish.

"My grippe is getting worse," said the patient in Flemish.

"Bacteria, die!" the doctor shouted at him in German.

"We can complete the bridge today," the engineer said in Spanish.

"Let's just lie in the sun," his girlfriend countered in Basque.

"How smooth and shiny it is," the gawking tourist said in Polish.

"I could look at it for hours," he continued in Geez.

"I resign," White said in Czech.

"This floor-cleaning machine takes a long time," said the janitor in Slovak.

"Chinese porridge today," said the waiter in Seljuk.

"Dig deeper, I know water is there," the dowser implored in Welsh.

"You bloody numbskull," said the offended man in Irish.

"Suck me off now, boy!" said the Republican senator in Gaelic, and again in English. (Look up "ingle".)

"It's just me and mom at home now," the boy said in Papago.

"I ruined my project!" wailed the apprentice in O'odham.

"Everything 50% off," the shopgirl said in Salish.

"Our team smashed yours in the double-header," said the baseball fan in Wintu.

"Two games, that's goobers," replied the other team's supporter in Penutian.

"Bravo, encore!" the audience shouted in Yurok.

"Please order for both of us," my friend said in Yupik.

"The police want to take our sister hostage," said the protesters in Haida.

"We'll take her far from here," responded their parents in Ewe.

"We don't know how your son disappeared," said the Argentine officer in Ainu.

"The bulkhead is leaking," shrieked the submariner in Ingush.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" the sailor asked in Jemez.

"I had an accident in my car," she replied in Towa.

"Uhhhhhh," the other car's driver moaned in Acoma.

"The alien couldn't pay for a room, so we put it in that bus," said the manager in Cochiti.

"The tao that can be followed is not the true tao," said the new-ager in Taos.

"I remember one day in the base in Cam Ranh," the old vet reminisced in Nambé.

"Our daughter is too timid to come out of her room," the mother said in Cheyenne.

"Mr Swift is indisposed today," said the butler in Tamil.

"The mountains are visible from here in good weather," said the guide in Farsi.

"For the love of God, Montresor," said Fortunato in Wolof.

"Here's where the lions go to the toilet," said the docent in Zulu.

"We've been rolling these all the way across the continent," said the vacationer in Touareg.

"I swear, that Australian turned into a dog before my very eyes!" insisted the guest in Mandingo.

"Well, I'll be...", the host replied in Dogon.

"We have the latest technology," the salesman said in Nuer.

"This one gives you mobile voice communication," he continued in Fon.

"I'm going to add a third-floor balcony connecting the master bedroom to the study," said the mansion's owner in Hausa.

"The mansion burned to the ground, and all we found intact was this little cup," said the fireman in Ashanti.

"It's so nice to have a little fire nearby," said the neighbor in Twi.

"I'd like the kind with bergamot flavoring," said the customer in Tigré.

"Who is the ale man," sang the commercial in Hebrew.

"That's not a rooster, that's a hen," the farmer said in Malay.

"Some Juicyfruit, sir," the waiter said in Manchu.

"Can't the cook think of anything except chopping this tuber and crushing it," the eater said in Chumash.

"Let's lynch that Nazi 'superman'," the partisan said in Hungarian.

"I baked the crust with the bisque inside," boasted the pastry chef in Havasupai.

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